The Path Forward
by ShouldIGetOutandPush
Summary: Han and Leia make a life together on post-Rebellion Coruscant.  After a year of living together, where will their relationship take them from here?   ...This story is a continuation from "As the Dust Settles" but works as a stand-alone...  *COMPLETE*
1. Chapter 1  The Itinerary

The Path Forward

Chapter One: The Itinerary

Han Solo stared down at the space charts laid out on the desk in front of him. His eyes were darting back and forth between them and the list of planets that he and Leia had to visit on their next official traveling expedition. The couple had been living on Coruscant for nearly one year now and as Leia had promised, the required travel for her job had not only been minimal, but it had always involved the Commissioner of Galactic Trade Relations, namely himself.

Crunching the numbers and making a few notations on his charts, Han laid his stylus down, ran his fingers through his hair and smiled as he sat down and relaxed in his office chair. He loved it when a plan came together so nicely. Glancing toward the comm on his desk and the time chart on his wall, Han picked up his headset and placed a call to Chewbacca on Kashyyyk.

Han had spent the last year on Coruscant watching Leia enjoy the fruits of her years of sacrifices and struggles with the Rebel Alliance as she fulfilled her dream of building the New Republic. At the same time he had helped her deal with her overwhelming emotions surrounding the reality of her history and heritage. Both of them finding that the slower pace that came with peace time had been a double-edged sword for the Princess of Alderaan.

While their time together on Coruscant had allowed Leia to learn how to relax and enjoy the simple things in life, it had also allotted her ample time to dwell on everything that she had endured over the past decade; something she had not allowed herself to do during the hectic days of the Rebellion. Han had enjoyed helping her unleash the years of laughter and passion that she had held bottled up inside of her but the millions of unshed tears and unvoiced sorrows acted as a sobering counterweight.

Like a boat that is knocked off-kilter, Han still felt that Leia had yet to find a comfortable balance in her post-Rebellion life. So when Leia asked him to map out their upcoming trip, Han had seized the opportunity to take a few liberties with their itinerary. Feeling a little off-kilter himself as of late, he thought he knew exactly which direction the two of them needed to head to set them straight and in typical Corellian fashion, he forged ahead with abandon.

Still unsure how he would pull everything together - Corellians not very well known as a detail-oriented people - he was pleased that he had at least gotten their schedule squared away. As a familiar howl rang through his communicator's headset and his hairy, old friend flickered into view, Han started talking excitedly. Wookiees, it just so happened, were very good with details.

Later on at their apartment, Han looked up towards their front door as he heard it slide open and watched Leia walk in.

"Oh, what smells so good?" Leia moaned as she set her datapad down on the small table in the foyer.

Han smiled. "Dinner," he replied as he approached her. "It's this stuff that you cook in the kitchen." As he reached her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him as he joked, "You know that little room over there behind that door?"

"Funny. Is there a shelf-life on your jokes?" She smiled at him and then sighed as her body sunk into his and she rested her head against his chest.

"Tough day?"

"You can't even imagine."

Giving her a quick squeeze, Han said, "Well that's perfect then, because I have a nice, relaxing evening planned for us." As he pulled away from her and guided her to sit at the dining room table, he added, "_And_ I have some exciting news."

"Why am I suddenly worried?" she said as she rested her elbows on the table and her head in her hands.

"Nothing to worry about!" Han yelled back to her as he disappeared into the kitchen.

After serving the both of them heaping plates of food and two dangerously full glasses of red wine, Han lowered himself into his chair and watched as Leia first carefully balanced and then delicately sipped on her red wine.

As if intentionally teasing him, which he would not put past her, Leia began to share the details of her tough day with him. Halfway through their meal, while Han's impatience grew, his wine disappeared and a sly, anticipatory grin stretched across his face, Leia set her glass down and asked, "So, what's the exciting news?"

He finished the last of his wine and savored both it and the pregnant silence that followed. Setting his glass down, he looked at Leia and smiled. "I finished our itinerary for the trip next week."

Lowering her eyebrows, she gave him a smirk. "Setting the bar pretty low there, aren't you?"

Han rose from his seat across from her and walked towards her. He leaned against the table next to her and crossed his legs at his ankles. "I've added some extra stops in there for us."

A flash of interest twinkled in Leia's eyes as she leaned back in her chair, a half-empty glass of wine in her hand. She took a sip. "Go on."

"We leave work on schedule. _And_ we return on time. _And_ it doesn't cost the New Republic a thing."

Leia let out a quick chuckle as she placed her wine glass down on the table and stood up in front of him. "I'm sorry. I think you must have me confused with the former Princess Organa of the Alliance to Reinstate the Republic." Leia then took her hand and moved one of Han's legs so that she could stand up nestled in between them and as she snaked her arms around his neck she added, "Now, what were you saying about some extra stops?"

Han grinned at her and wrapped his hands around her lower back as he said, "First stop will be the beautiful, tropical paradise of Yavin four, home of the famous Rogue Squadron Pilot and Jedi Knight, Luke Skywalker."

Han and Leia had not seen Luke since his visit over three months ago. And although he still had trouble remembering things like putting his clothes in the autovalet and compacting the trash receptacle when it was full, Han hadn't missed Leia's subtle hints regarding her desire to visit her twin brother post-haste. A warm burst of satisfaction pulsated through him as her face lit up at the news.

"Really?"

"Really." Han pulled her closer to him and kissed her quickly on the lips.

"And then where?" Leia asked as she began to nibble on his ear lobe and his neck.

Han tilted his head, allowing her room to explore. Grabbing her wine off the table he took a quick sip and said, "Oh, something like ambassador visit _this_ and trade dispute _that_."

"And _then_ where?" Leia questioned as she straightened herself up and took her wine glass back from him.

"Kashyyyk."

The couple hadn't seen Chewie in months either and this news made both of them smile.

"Do they know?"

Assuming she meant Chewie and Luke, Han answered, "Chewie – yes. Luke – no."

"Anywhere else?"

"Only one official stop after Kashyyyk and then I have a surprise for you."

Pressing her body up against his as she set her wine glass on the table, she whispered in his ear, "I am suddenly very excited about our next business trip."

"Ummmmm," Han answered as his hands fell down a little lower on her body and his fingers began to gather up the material of the knee length skirt the princess wore. "Just how excited are we talking here?"


	2. Chapter 2  Abstinence

The Path Forward

Chapter Two: Abstinence

The _Millennium Falcon _landed on the fourth moon of Yavin for the first time in over five years. Han Solo performed his ship's shutdown sequence as he kept one watchful eye on Leia. She unfastened her crash webbing and sat in the copilot's seat staring out at the ancient temples in the distance. Han knew that her memories of Yavin were mixed at best. It was where they fled after their escape from the Death Star. It was the sight of the Alliance's first substantial victory against their dominating enemy. It was also home to some of their first memories together.

He unfastened his crash webbing and turned towards her. "Hey."

Her head turned, her eyes meeting his as a tender smile crossed her lips. "Hey."

"You ready?"

She stood up and held her hand out to him. He took it and stood up before her. Pulling him along with her, she made her way to the exit. Han followed behind her without saying a word.

The _Falcon's_ gangway lowered and Han followed closely behind Leia as she began to descend the ramp. The thick, humid air of Yavin greeted him halfway to the ground at about the same time as one very excited Jedi Knight.

"I can't believe you're here!" Luke exclaimed, first hugging his sister and then pulling Han in for a quick hug.

"I told you we'd come," Leia answered with a wide grin.

"How long can you stay?"

"Just three days," Leia replied as they all began to walk towards the temple.

The couple's first day on Yavin IV was spent touring the old Rebel base and marveling at all the changes and improvements that Luke and his students had made. They were also introduced and warmly welcomed by all the new Jedi trainees that had been rounded up from around the galaxy to train with Leia's twin.

Late that first evening, the trio enjoyed a quiet dinner with Luke around a small table on a raised balcony overlooking the thick forest and a nearby stream below. The twins chatted incessantly, their voices mixing in with the sounds of the woodland insects beckoning the coming sunset. Although he remained a part of their conversation, Han mostly sat back and watched Leia. She looked relaxed and content, and this, the first part of his plan, seemed to be coming together very nicely.

Moving the food around on her plate, Leia asked, "So, Luke. Have you made any decisions about the Jedi and marriage? I know the last time we talked about it you were still undecided."

"Well, I wouldn't say that I have reached a final decision yet. I would like to get at least a rudimentary council together before I start establishing bylaws. But, I have researched all of the reasons that the old Jedi Council forbade marriage." Straightening himself up in his chair and looking as if he was searching for the right words, Luke continued, "The path of a Jedi is paved with sacrifice and restraint. We are meant to act on our passion for humanity and justice, not our own desires and needs. _Abstinence_ was a large part of controlling that tendency towards selfishness."

Han placed his elbows on the table, finding it difficult to remain a spectator in this particular conversation. As he leaned in towards Luke, he said, "Trust me, kid. Abstinence ain't all it's cracked up to be."

"And what would you know about _abstinence_?" Leia questioned incredulously.

"What do you call the six months of _nothing_ I got after Endor?" Han replied as he watched both of the twins sitting at his table blush. Unfazed, he added, "_And_ the three years you held out before you finally-"

"Han!" Leia screeched as she _mostly_ playfully punched him in the arm.

"_Anyway_," Luke started and as soon as Han and Leia turned their attention back to him, he continued, "my instincts tell me that marriage should be allowed among the Jedi."

The playfulness of the conversation quickly dissipated as Han and Leia both remained silent.

Placing his fork down beside his plate, Luke continued, "Honestly, I have to admit that you two have been a huge deciding factor for me."

Han turned to look at Leia at the exact same time that she did the same. Turning back towards Luke, Leia asked, "How so?"

Picking up his fork again and moving his food around on his plate, Luke explained, "Oh, I don't know. Just seeing how you two are together, it really convinced me that a relationship…" Luke stilled his hands and looked back up at the couple across the table from him and said seriously, "That _love_ is akin to all the basic human necessities. Almost as important to the growth of a person's soul as water and food are to its physical body."

There was a long silence while the three people sitting at the small table digested the Jedi's words. It was Han that spoke first when he picked up his glass, took a sip of his drink and then said, "Alright, kid, who is she?"

Luke smiled as Leia poked Han in the ribs with her elbow and scolded him yet again. "Han!"

"That's funny, Han. But I am serious," Luke replied and then added, "Besides, and this isn't something I factored too heavily into my decision, but…how will we continue to populate the Jedi council if we do not allow our Jedi to…_populate_."

Leia stared at him for a little bit and then turning back towards her plate she deadpanned, "I've already told you, Luke, I'm not going to be your Jedi baby factory."

Han nearly spit the contents of his mouth out on the table as Luke laughed at him, and it wasn't very long until Leia couldn't help but join in, too.

The rest of the conversation paling in comparison, the trio had fallen into a long silence as they finished their meal. Han watched as a gentle breeze traveled through the trees below them and then up through Leia's unbound hair. He took a deep breath; the air was hot and humid and it smelled like the forest – all earthy and green. The stone landing surrounding them was wet with the remnants of a typical afternoon shower and the puddles glistened in the setting sun.

Leia sighed deeply as she sank back into her chair and held her hand out to Han. He held her hand inside of his and gave it a squeeze. The couple sat like that, hand-in-hand, as the conversation picked back up and they laughed and talked with Luke until the massive, orange planet of Yavin hung low against the treetops ahead of them.

Luke looked at Han and then drew a deep breath as his expression grew serious and he turned to Leia and said, "You know, I've spoken to father. He's very _connected_ to me here."

Han felt Leia take her hand from his.

Luke leaned forward again as he said, "He's…he'd like to…"

"You know what?" Leia replied as she straightened herself up in her chair, "I'm just not there yet."

"I can understand how you feel after everything that happened-"

"No, Luke. Everything he _did_ to me, and you…_and_ Han. It didn't just _happen_."

Luke raised his hands up to her and said, "Right. You're right."

Han took a deep breath and dragged his hand over his face. He felt sorry for Luke in a way; he knew he was only worried about his sister and Han had been in his shoes more than once over the past year.

After a short silence, Luke said, "Leia, regardless of who he is, even if he wasn't our father. I would strongly counsel you to let go of this hate before it consumes you."

"It's not hate, Luke. I don't think it's hate. It's more like…_hurt_. And I'm working through things in my own way."

"Okay," Luke whispered.

A soft howl in the distance echoed in the momentary silence and Han let out a tired yawn before standing up and offering his hand out to Leia as he said, "I think it's about time we called it a night."

The trio said goodnight and Han watched as Leia gave her brother a long, lingering hug. Nodding his head at the young Jedi, Han shook his hand and put his arm around Leia as they exited the balcony and made their way to their quarters.

As Leia disappeared into the 'fresher, Han began to sort through his clothes and turn down the sheets on their bed. After a short time, he entered the 'fresher and found Leia standing in front of the mirror and staring at her reflection.

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. Resting his head on her shoulder, he sighed and said, "You alright?"

"I don't know, am I?" she replied as she met his eyes in the reflection of the mirror.

Han exhaled a heavy breath. Pulling away from her a little bit, he began to massage her shoulders. "He's just worried about you, that's all."

She spun around and faced him. "I'm just not where he is with all of this." Resting her head against his chest, he embraced her and she said, "And there's no shortcut for me to get there."

"Nobody's asking you to take a shortcut, honey. But…"

Leia stepped out of his arms in response to his silence. "But what?"

"Well, you tend to shut people out when they're trying to help you."

She chuckled softly and shook her head. "What? Like the six months of nothing you got after Endor?"

Han smiled and chuckled a bit himself. "Yeah, something like that." He stroked her cheek with the backs of his fingers as his thoughts quickly began to center around an entirely different topic than her brother and her father.

Tilting her head to the side her smile widened as she said, "What?"

"Oh, nothing." He pulled her to him again and rested his hands on her lower back. "Just…being back here…and all this talk about abstinence, kinda got me thinking."

"Oh, yeah?" She rested her hands on his chest.

"Yeah. Of you, in that white gown all those years ago…draping that medal around my neck."

"Uh-huh." Her hands began to slide up towards his shoulders until her fingers locked together behind his neck.

"You think we could find your old quarters and dig that thing up?" He lowered his head to her ear as he whispered, "I've gotta coupla ideas for that outfit that just might earn me another medal."

"You keep talking like that, Solo, and you're gonna need another medal."

He laughed and began to nibble at her neck and her earlobe. Her fingers began working on his buttons until his clothing quickly formed a pile at his feet. He deftly reciprocated the favor as the two made their way to the bedroom, leaving a trail of her clothing behind them.


	3. Chapter 3  Intentions

The Path Forward

Chapter Three: Intentions

The next morning, Han made his way to the old Alliance mess hall both by memory and by following the tantalizing smell of freshly brewed kaffe. There was something odd about returning to a place after a long period of time and finding your life in such a different state of affairs.

Each familiar sight or sound or smell took Han back to the person he was back then. A broad smile, accompanied by a warm sensation in his chest, overtook him as he compared his lustful desires for a then intangible, fiery princess to the warm, naked body he had just left and all the things they had done to each other last night and already this morning.

With a definite lilt to his step and a permanent smile on his face, Han grabbed a cup of kaffe and made his way back to Luke's private patio, where the trio had dined last night.

Han stepped out on the balcony to find Luke already sipping on a steaming cup of kaffe.

"Mornin'. Where's Leia?" Luke asked as Han took a seat across from the Jedi knight.

"She's practicing the fine art of sleeping in," Han offered as he took a sip from his mug.

"She has an excellent teacher, I'm sure."

"Yeah, well, what can I say? I know how to enjoy the finer things in life," Han replied with a crooked grin.

There was a quick moment of silence between the two and then Luke turned to Han and asked, "How is she, Han? Really?"

Taking a deep breath, Han set his mug down on the table as he said, "She's…._different_."

"How so?"

"I don't know how to describe it," he started and then after looking over towards the nearby stream for a little while, he added, "But for someone who lived and breathed for the Rebellion like she did, she just doesn't seem to have the same passion for the New Republic." Luke looked at Han curiously and the spacer held his hands up and explained, "I know. Don't think that I want her burying herself in her work or anything like that. You know that's not what I mean. But…there's just something…_off_."

"Do you think it has anything to do with…you know…her dealing with everything?"

"Honestly, I don't know, kid," Han answered quickly as he grabbed the mug of kaffe and took a sip. Resting the cup in his hands, he added, "We've talked about a lot. She's been working through it."

"But she's not accepting it. _I_ know that. _You_ know that, " Luke replied as he leaned forward in his chair.

"And _she_ knows that," Han answered. "Don't think for a moment she doesn't. Your sister is a strong, intelligent woman, Luke. She'll find her way through this, don't worry. It just might not be on your terms…or _timeline_."

"You're right. I know that. I just worry about her," Luke said as he sighed heavily and relaxed back into his chair. He looked down at the mug of kaffe in his hands and then back up at Han as he said, "I just feel like she's pushing me away sometimes."

"Yeah, well, she probably is," Han replied and then watched as Luke's expression fell. "Look, don't worry about it. That's a _signature_ Leia move. Whenever she needs you the most is when she pushes you away. The trick is…you can't smother her. You just gotta let her know that you're there for her and…she'll come around eventually."

Luke seemed to contemplate Han's words for a long moment and then placing his mug on the table between them, he placed his forearms on the small table, leaned towards Han and with his voice lowered, asked, "What about Vader? Has she…"

"She hasn't even _gotten_ to Vader yet," Han interrupted as he sat back and sipped on his kaffe.

"What do you mean?"

"She's too busy dealing with Bail."

"_Bail_?" Luke asked as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Yeah. She's still trying to figure out how he fit into all this."

"You mean if he knew?"

"Well, she's almost positive he knew," Han stated and then he paused as if searching for the right words, before he added, "No, it's more like who's side he was on."

"She can't think…"

"I don't think she does, but she's looked at it every which way. I can guarantee you that," Han explained. Luke sighed heavily as he sat back in his chair. Han sighed himself as he said, "I think _that_ may have hit her the hardest, believe it or not."

Luke looked at Han as if he had just told him that Wookiees could fly.

Han leaned forward and said, "Think about it, back in the Alliance days, who did Leia always talk about, if nothing else?"

Luke thought for a short time before he responded softly, "Bail."

"_Bail,"_ Han reiterated and then explained, "She idolized him. She used his memory to help her get through everything that happened to her. She put him up on a pedestal and then you came along with that bombshell of yours and knocked him down."

"Why would that knock him down?"

"Putting aside the fact that he lied to her for her entire life?" Han took a sip of his kaffe and then took a deep breath. "What about the fact that he encouraged her to run for the Imperial Senate? That he paraded her right under Vader and the Emperor's noses? That he sent her on that mission to find Kenobi?"

"To _save_ the Rebellion!" Luke replied as he leaned forward.

"Maybe," Han replied as he set his mug on the table. "Or maybe it was to flush out the last of the Jedi, _including you_. Maybe it was to finish what had been started with the great Jedi purge."

Luke leaned back into his chair and looked at Han in disbelief. Finally he whispered, "That can't be true."

Han sat up straight and said, "I'm not saying it is and I'm not saying Leia _believes_ it is. I'm just saying she's got a lot she's gotta work through, including forgiving herself. Before she ever gets to your father."

"Forgiving herself?"

"Yeah." Han picked up his mug and looked down at if for a moment and then he said, "You see, in her own words, if _I_ had been on the Death Star, they would have blown up Corellia and if _you_ had been on the Death Star, they would have blown up Tatooine. But _she_ was on the Death Star, so they…"

"Blew up Alderaan."

"Exactly."

Han studied Luke as the younger man stared off into the distance. It was unfortunate that Luke and Leia had remained separated for the majority of the time since they discovered they were siblings. Han knew that Luke desperately wanted Leia to accept their heritage and forgive their father and to a certain extent, if it would provide Leia peace, Han agreed with that. But Luke didn't know half of what Han knew about Leia's mental state regarding her father.

She had worked very hard at forgiving herself for Alderaan – something she took the brunt of responsibility for. But while forgiving herself, all the blame had somehow shifted to Vader, even though Tarkin had been the one who had flipped the switch. Vader seemed to embody all of the ills of the Empire for Leia in one convenient package.

Vader _was_ Tarkin. Vader was her torturer and Han's torturer and Luke's for that matter. Vader was all the Imperial troops everywhere that had ever killed an Alliance soldier or a defenseless citizen. Vader was the devil incarnate. How could Han explain all of that to Luke? It was best that he didn't even try. Helping one Skywalker twin at a time was enough for him at the moment.

Luke took a couple of deep breaths as he continued to look past Han to the grounds and trees beyond him. After a long silence, he looked back at Han and asked, "Has he ever appeared to her…or tried to speak to her, do you know?"

Han knew which "he" Luke was talking about and replied, "Not that I know of."

"Do you think she would hide it from you?"

"I like to think not. But she could if she wanted to," Han answered and then looking at Luke, he said, "You know, you really should be talking to your sister about all of this."

Luke chuckled a little and then said, "She's not the easiest person to talk to you, you know."

This made Han laugh out loud as he replied, "Tell me about it."

Both men laughed for a little while and then Luke grew somewhat serious again as he said, "She's really lucky to have you, Han."

"Yeah, that's what she keeps telling me," Han replied with a seriousness of his own. He looked at Luke and then leaning forward on the table he said, "You know, there was actually something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Yeah?"

"This trip that I planned…this visit…" Han began, but then seemed to run out of the right words.

"What? What is it?" Luke asked suspiciously.

"I'm going to ask your sister to marry me…on Kashyyyk," Han spit out as he watched for Luke's reaction.

"Oh…," Luke replied, and then, letting a big smile cross his face, he replied, "That's about the best news I've heard in a long time."

Han took a deep breath, relieved to have finally told someone and then he added, "Chewie's supposed to be picking up a ring I had made and setting up something special for us."

Luke grinned again and said, "Who'd've thought? Han Solo, the romantic."

"Can it," Han quipped and then said, "Anyway, you're her only family and I know I don't need anyone's permission, but it's kinda customary…"

"Well, you know what?" Luke interrupted and then sitting up straight in his chair, his face grew mock serious as he said, "I feel compelled at this juncture to share some words of wisdom that were once given to me by a wise old man."

"Yeah, what's that?" Han asked suspiciously.

"Better you than me," Luke deadpanned.

Han stared at the Jedi for a moment as he watched a smirk crawl across Luke's face. Memories of a time when Luke actually was Han's main competitor for Leia's affections flashing through his mind. "Funny, Luke. Real funny," Han replied.

"What's so funny?" Leia asked as she walked up to the table behind Han. The two men looked at each other and laughed. From the look Leia shot at Han, he could tell that she was not amused.

After breakfast, Luke walked the couple down to a clearing by the nearby stream. The twins sat on a blanket and talked while Han fished with a makeshift fishing pole that one of Luke's students had fashioned together. Finally accepting defeat, Han walked back towards the blanket empty-handed.

Luke looked up as Han approached and said, "You know Threepio is actually our best fisherman around here."

"You really know how to ruin a nice day, Luke," Han replied as he set the fishing pole down and sat next to Leia.

Luke chuckled and then added, "Speaking of Threepio, this humid weather here really hasn't been agreeing with him. His joints are always stiff. I bet he would-"

"No," Han tensed up and replied in no uncertain terms, only relaxing when he saw his future brother-in-law give him a teasing smirk.

"Will you two behave. What's going on with the both of you today?" Leia interjected as she gave Han's thigh a gentle squeeze.

"He started it," Han replied as he relaxed back onto the blanket and looked up at the clear sky overhead.

"Well, I'm finishing it," Leia replied as Han shut his eyes and let the sunlight warm his skin.

Han let his own mind wander while Luke talked to Leia about the Jedi academy and how the training was going. Leia then shared stories of the New Republic and gave Luke updates on all the old familiar players. There was a long silence which Luke finally broke when he said, "I think I may have a lead on who our mother was."

This jarred Han out of his musings and he held his breath for a moment but kept his eyes closed as he waited for Leia to respond.

Her voice was soft and low as he finally heard her say, "That is…that's great."

"Leia," Luke replied, his voice barely audible over the sound of the stream and the forest beyond them.

"I'm sorry, Luke. I know you never had a mother or a father, but I did. And I've been making my peace with _them_…and that's enough for me right now."

"Alright," Luke replied and then the silence settled down between them once again.

That evening the trio dined in the mess hall along with the rest of Luke's students. By the time Han and Leia made it back to their quarters that evening it was very late. Leia never brought up anything about Luke's comments by the stream so Han never mentioned it either.

Once in bed, Han nuzzled next to Leia and she told him that she wasn't in the mood. It wasn't as if skipping one night of lovemaking was unheard of for them, but it was more than just that. Leia's rebuff weighed heavily on him and the high hopes he had had for this trip seemed to be slipping through his fingers a little each day.

He didn't regret taking her to see her brother, but he was silently thankful that they would be leaving tomorrow. He was anxious to get an answer to the all-important question that he wanted to ask the woman curled up next to him on the bed. As if one tiny, little word and a ring wrapped around her finger would make him feel closer to her during times like this, when even in his arms she felt a million parsecs away.


	4. Chapter 4  Pressing the Issue

The Path Forward

Chapter Four: Pressing the Issue

On this their last day on Yavin, Han and Leia made their way back to the clearing by the stream, recently dubbed their new favorite spot. They both seemed eager to enjoy its charm to the fullest before they left. Luke had joined them for breakfast and Han was relieved that yesterday's uneasiness had not remained between the two siblings. Leaving Han and Leia on their own, Luke promised to join them after he attended to some obligations.

And, so it seemed, before they knew it, it was nearly midday and Han was lying on a blanket watching Leia pick berries out of a nearby bush when Luke walked up.

"Hey guys," Luke called as he approached their little sanctuary. "I'm going to have to name this spot after you."

Leia walked up with her small basket of berries and said, "I do just absolutely love it here."

"I'm sorry you can't stay longer," Luke offered and then added with a smile, "this place definitely agrees with you."

"It does," she answered almost dreamily and then as if catching herself she added, "But I'm happy on Coruscant as well."

"Are you really?" Luke asked her, the two of them now facing each other, Leia's basket and a small distance in between them. "I think before you leave it would do you well to search your feelings about your life on Coruscant."

"I am very happy with my life…_our_ life on Coruscant," Leia answered coolly as she took a step away from Luke and towards Han. Han straightened up, took the basket from Leia and set it down beside him.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to imply anything about you and Han. I was speaking more along the lines of…" Luke hesitated and then said, "Do you find that you've become…_disenchanted_ with your role in the New Republic?"

Leia looked at Han who looked down at the blanket below him. What the hell was the kid doing? Han could feel the tension radiating off of Leia in reaction, but she remained silent while she kept her eyes on Luke.

"Leia, I'm not saying that I would train you to become a _crusading_ Jedi. I just think that you need to learn how to recognize the gift you have been given and to control it and use it to your advantage. The Force may be able to help you find that balance you seem to be missing, especially if you're not finding satisfaction with the New Republic."

"I don't want to ruin this visit, Luke," Leia shook her head as she answered him in a soft voice. "So, I'm not going to repeat all the things that I have already said to you about this." She took a moment to look down at Han and then back at her brother as she added, "I will say that I certainly don't appreciate being _discussed_ by the two of you behind my back like I'm some sort of ignorant child that cannot make her own decisions."

Han watched Leia walk away from the two of them and back up towards the temple. Looking at Luke, Han asked, "What the hell are you doing to me, Luke?"

"I'm sorry, Han. I had to try."

"No," Han replied as he stood up, gathered up their blanket and Leia's basket of berries and then added, "No, you didn't," as he walked away, following in Leia's footsteps.

As he followed Leia to the temple, Han's initial anger at Luke slowly turned inward and morphed into self-doubt. Han knew that Luke saw in Leia the same things that he did, but instead of patiently waiting for Leia to come forward with her feelings as Han had been doing, Luke had approached her with a gentle nudge, broaching the topic that if left alone, she may never bring up on her own.

Although the last year had been filled with long conversations regarding her time on the Death Star, her heritage and her doubts surrounding Bail Organa, Han had never pressed her on this underlying issue of her overall happiness. Not that he didn't have his reasons.

For one thing, pushing Leia had never worked well for him or for anybody else as far as he could tell. Just like their separation following Endor, when Han had been sure that he had made the right decision in not pushing her into a corner, but giving her the time and space she needed to adjust and absorb the news of Darth Vader. For another, Han felt that her overall well-being would gradually come on-line on its own, as she dealt with her issues one by one.

As Han approached the temple, he reluctantly admitted that for whatever progress he had made with her, he still felt that he was missing something fairly substantial. Some significant breakthrough or advice or healing that just wasn't coming naturally. Maybe Luke had the right idea and it was time that he pushed her more than he had been doing. Maybe she needed more direction and encouragement the further she delved into these issues. Running his fingers through his hair, he let out a deep breath. He was no psychologist. How would he ever know if what he was doing was the right thing?

When Han reached their quarters, Leia was packing their bags. He fell into the routine silently alongside of her and Leia seemed content in not discussing recent events. They were set to leave within the next couple of hours anyway, so he felt no need to press her before they left.

Luke was waiting for them when they exited their quarters and entered the main living area. Following some exchanged pleasantries with all of his students, Luke followed the couple out to the _Falcon_ to say their final goodbyes in private.

Standing in front of the lowered gangway, Luke was the first to speak when he said, "I'm sorry, Leia."

Leia shook her head and responded, "We've talked about this, Luke."

"I know, but I don't think you are dealing with things as well as you…"

"You know what, Luke? You might be right," Leia interrupted him and taking a step towards her brother, she said, "I may have a long way to go with figuring all of this out. But that doesn't mean that you have it all figured out in contrast." A gentle breeze whipped around the three of them as they stood there in a brief silence. Leia's hair, pulled back in a loose pony tail, danced behind her in the wind and Han watched them without saying a word. Finally she continued to speak to Luke, her words becoming terse and cool, "You were so quick to forgive him. To embrace this…_life of his_. Have you really and truly worked out all of your feelings, Luke? Have you faced all of your demons? Or have you just befriended them? Stuck them out in the pasture like they're your _pets_? All the while never sure if they will ever _turn_ on their master?"

Luke just stared at her. Han shuffled a little on his feet and shoved his hands in his pockets. Leia certainly had the ability to slice someone open with her words when she wanted to, but she rarely ever used that ability on her close friends and family. She practiced a loving restraint, most of the time.

Leia continued on into Luke's silence, "It's dangerous to trust someone so blindly. Someone that you truly know _nothing_ about, Luke. He's our father. I have accepted him as that. But that doesn't mean I understand him. Or trust him. Or embrace him as my _protector and friend_." She stepped back towards Han, before she added, "Paternity does not beget love, Luke."

Luke looked at her for awhile and then said again, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too."

Han watched the twins stare at each other for awhile and then he watched Leia step away from him and move towards Luke as the two siblings fell into a tight embrace. The loud, metallic pings of heavy rain drops falling on the _Falcon _was the first sign of the typical afternoon shower coming up from behind them. Han took a few steps back and stood under the cover of his ship as the rain began to fall down around them.

Luke and Leia finally pulled away from each other and Han watched their eyes meet in silent acceptance. And as Leia walked towards him, Han raised his hand and waved goodbye to Luke as he started to climb up the _Falcon's_ gangway.

"Leia?" Luke called, causing both Han and Leia to turn around towards him.

Han was already at the top of the ship's gangway, he could see Leia standing below him but he had lost sight of Luke completely. He heard the Jedi's words carry up to him as he called out to his sister.

"Don't be mad at Han. He had nothing to do with it."

He watched Leia give her brother an affirmative nod and then turn towards him and head up the ramp. As Han pressed the buttons to close the ship up, Leia brushed past him without a word. Shaking his head, he silently thanked Luke for his last ditch effort. But somehow the Corellian knew he had his own music to face.


	5. Chapter 5  The Future

The Path Forward

Chapter Five: The Future

As soon as the _Falcon_ climbed above the dark clouds over Yavin IV, Han watched as Leia entered the coordinates for their next stop and then on her signal he pulled the lever that slipped them smoothly into hyperspace.

After a long silence, he turned to Leia and asked, "You wanna talk about it?"

He watched her turn to him and after staring at him for a little bit, she inquired, "Are you worried about me?"

Han sighed and unfastened his crash webbing as he replied, "I always worry about you."

"You know what I mean. Do you think I'm not dealing with everything correctly? Do you think I should train in the Force?"

"Whoa, now, wait a minute," Han shot back as he turned in his chair to face her, "I never said any such thing. What you decide to do with…_that_…is totally up to you."

"So, what is it then?" Leia replied as she freed herself from her restraints, "What has you so worried?"

"I don't know," Han said and then after exhaling heavily, he asked, "Are you happy in the New Republic?"

"You told Luke I was _disenchanted_ with the New Republic?"

"Well, I never used that word," Han huffed and then calmed down as Leia shot him a look. Taking another deep breath he continued, "You just don't seem happy with-"

"I don't know what it is," Leia interrupted him, and then looking out the viewport to the swirl of hyperspace she said, "It's like getting everything that you worked so hard for and it's still not enough."

Han studied her profile for a moment and then asked, "Does that include me?"

She quickly turned to him and smiled warmly. "No." Han watched her stand up and step toward him and as he sat back she turned to the side and sat crossways on his lap. Placing a hand on his cheek and looking him in the eye, she said, "_You_ are the one thing that has exceeded my expectations."

"Well, you probably did have the bar set kinda low…," Han teased but was immediately cutoff by a warm, deep kiss and suddenly this trip seemed to be right back on track. When she pulled away and looked at him, he asked, "Is there anything I can do?"

He was referring to her _disenchantment_ with the New Republic, but by the smirk she gave him and the way her eyebrows lifted, he knew their signals had crossed in a most delightful way.

Pulling her to him, he growled in her ear, "Well, if you insist."

As Leia's hand reached down in between them, Han grunted and shifted her in his lap. Before things got totally out of control, Han remembered one more reason why he was sometimes _derailed_ from addressing these issues with her. As he felt the fastening of his pants snap open, he realized that she had a foolproof way of distracting him that no man could ever blame him for falling for.

* * *

With a few official stops in between, the couple finally touched down on Kashyyyk. From the moment they arrived, Han had his work cut out for him. Between Chewbacca and Malla's excitement over what Han had planned and Leia's state of mind following their rocky visit to Yavin, the spacer felt as if he were being pulled in a million different directions.

By the time the long day finally came drawing to a close and Han was leading Leia down the meandering maze of the torch lit path that led to their secluded hut, the knowledge of what he was about to do seemed almost anti-climatic in light of everything he had accomplished thus far to keep it a surprise from Leia. _Almost_, he thought as he discreetly patted the pocket that held the tiny ring in it, for the millionth time in the last three hours.

Stepping into the small hut, with fresh flowers hanging in the windows, strung on tiny vines like colorful, scented curtains, Han watched Leia spin around and take in the their surroundings with a warm smile. The incredible sound of a waterfall in the distance provided a majestic backdrop with its gigantic roar in perfect contrast to the peaceful solitude of their private room.

"This place is gorgeous." Leia breathed out as she strode toward the balcony and looked out at the impressive waterfall.

"Yeah, it's something like a honeymoon suite," Han said as he smiled at her. Walking slowly towards her, she turned to look at him and his breath caught in his throat.

She returned his gaze and with a feral look in her eyes she stepped toward him as she replied, "I like the sound of that." Han accepted her into his arms and kissed her, but his anxiety did not allow him to relax into the moment like he knew she had already done. Pulling away from him she furrowed her brow and asked, "What is it?"

"There's something…" he began, suddenly aware that his arms felt sluggish and his palms were drenched in sweat. Placing his hands on her shoulders and taking a deep breath, as if drawing his courage from her touch, he continued, "There's something I want to say to you."

"What is it, sweetheart?" Leia looked at him, totally confused and beautiful and he still found it hard to believe that he even deserved to think about asking her what he was about to ask her.

"You know everything about me and…my past…" he began and then faltered.

"Han…?" Leia asked as she furrowed her brow once again and placed her hand reassuringly on his cheek. "You don't have to-"

"No, I want to say this," Han interrupted quickly and taking a deep breath he added, "I want you to hear me say this." And then gathering up the last of his Corellian courage, he plowed on, "I spent most of my life running away from my past, so much so that I didn't give one second thought about my future." He said the words quickly and it was a relief once they were out of his mouth. Taking her hand from off of his cheek and cupping it into his own, he looked her in the eyes and added, his voice steady and sure, "Until I met you."

He watched her face relax as she shook her head and replied, "Han, I-"

"Shhhh. Just let me talk for a change, okay?" he begged as he placed his forefinger on her lips. Dropping his hand, he just stared at her for a moment. At this person who had changed his life in so many ways.

When he finally spoke, his voice was a whisper and his words croaked out, but he didn't care as he spilled out the confession that he had longed to tell her, "For the first time in my life, I look forward to my future. I think about it, dream about it. I picture it in my head." She smiled up at him and he smiled back, relaxing as he continued, "And I can't…I can't think about it, or look forward to it, or picture it…without seeing you."

And as was the custom on the former planet of Alderaan, Han lowered himself to one knee and producing a tiny ring from his jacket pocket, he asked, "Will you marry me, Leia? Will you share your future with me?"

Han swallowed and thanked the deities that he had been able to say all that he wanted to say and that it sounded just the way he had wanted it to sound. But he slowly began to realize how long the silence was lingering between them as he sat there on his bended knee.

A small, knowing smile crept across Leia's face and then she took her hand and cupped it lovingly around his cheek. Han watched her as she appeared to be studying his face, her eyes moved from his forehead, to his eyes, down to his lips and his chin. As her eyes lifted back up to look into his, she lowered herself to the floor to kneel in front him. Her eyes becoming glassy and her voice, low and throaty as she began to whisper, "There is nothing…," she started as she placed her other hand on his face, "I have ever wanted more…," she continued as she brought her face closer to his, so close that their lips brushed up against each other as she said, "than to be your wife."

Unable to resist it any longer, Han pressed his lips against hers and kissed her. His heart pounded in his chest and it actually hurt from the beating. As he felt Leia's hands run up and into his hair, he wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her to him, unable to get her close enough to satisfy his craving.

As Leia pulled slightly away from him, breaking their kiss, she stared into his eyes as he watched the tears fall from hers. Wiping her nose, she smiled and then said, "Where's that ring?"

He brought his hand from around her waist and looking down at her hand as she lowered it between them, he slid the ring onto her finger.

She studied it on her hand, moving it this way and that and he enjoyed watching her do that more than he could have ever imagined. The silver of the titanium band shimmered in the dim lighting of the room as she gazed at the sparkling, purple stone set in the center. Finally she whispered, "It's perfect."

He sat there for a second, unsure of what he wanted to do first. Sweep her up in his arms, shout out to the world that she had said yes or just sit here and cry himself? Leaning in towards her, he kissed her lingering tears away, his mind still reeling that she had actually said yes. He never truly doubted that she would, but this confirmation was more than slightly relieving.

Han noticed that his heart had calmed down inside of his chest, but a dull ache remained there. Now that this part of his plan was behind him, his thoughts immediately fell onto the future and just what her answer meant to him and to them. The words he used during his proposal now turning into more than just a rehearsed sentiment and heretofore unvoiced dream. They were now a blissful reality, their future intertwined forever, no longer two paths laid out before them but a single, solitary road to a mutual destiny.

He moved to stand up, pulling her up with him, their bodies refusing to separate as if melded together by this invisible bond now between them. Falling into the mesmerizing pull of her eyes, Han saw their future flash before him. Laughter, love and children, a tantalizing glimpse of the family he never had. A family he could now create with the woman that he loved more than anything else in the universe.

He took a deep breath as he moved her toward the bed just behind them, focusing again on the wide brown eyes looking up at him. This time he studied her face and her expression, wondering what future could be playing out for her at this very moment. Han recognized the look in her eyes almost immediately; it was a look she failed to mask even back in the days before they had admitted their feelings for each other - as though _he_ was all that she needed. The ache in his chest crumbling under the realization, he silently vowed to spend the rest of his life proving just that fact to be the case.

Their hands and their mouths began this familiar dance all at once. Bits of clothing disappearing between them, they moved quickly but they were not rushed. It was as if this was the night they had been but practicing for all this time. Their every movement coordinated, their bodies in total synchronicity. Falling onto the bed together, their kisses became desperate but the dominating feeling that this was exactly where they should be, precisely what they should be doing at this very moment, kept their pace slow and steady - savoring every second.

Han whispered, "I love you," but the words seemed inadequate, not nearly defining these feelings stirring inside of him. So he set about showing her how much he felt for her. And as they began to make love, he heard her whisper his name and profess her love for him. Somehow her words seemed more than adequate as they swooped down inside of him and filled the empty ache that had throbbed inside of his chest.

As they held each other afterwards, arms and legs still intertwined, they both looked out towards the hazy moonlit night just beyond their room. A gentle breeze whispered through the floral curtains bringing with it a sweet, light scent. Leia shivered in his arms and he pulled her closer. He still wondered if he truly deserved her; in his arms like this, wearing nothing but his ring on her finger, the promise of their future together - if he deserved any of it.

She turned toward him, resting her chin on his chest and pulling the covers over them snugly. "When do you want to get married?"

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "That's up to you, Your Highness."

"Han."

Like tucking in his shirt and keeping his shoes off the kaffe table, Han often forgot the 'no regal nicknames in bed' rule that he had agreed to so long ago.

He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through her hair. "We can get married here, tomorrow, and that would be fine by me." She turned her head and rested it against his chest as if listening for his heartbeat. "But I assumed you might want some big shindig back on Coruscant."

Her hand lifted up and Han watched her study her ring for a moment and then she took a deep breath and sighed, "No." Propping herself back up on her chin she looked at him and said, "I don't think I want that."

"Are you sure, sweetheart? I'll do whatever you want and this is _usually_ a once in a lifetime deal."

"I've had enough once in a lifetime deals to know that it doesn't matter where they happen, just who they happen with."

"So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying." Her eyes fell down to his chest and she trailed a finger along the sparse hair there. "I would like to have Luke here."

"That oughtta be easy enough…since he already knows…"

Quickly turning to face him, she said, "What? You told him?"

"Yeah, that's what we were talking about when you walked up that morning."

"Oh," she replied, seeming to remember her harsh words regarding that conversation.

"Don't beat yourself up, we did sorta talk about you, too." Han wound a piece of her hair around his finger and gave it a gentle tug. "Your brother's just worried about you, that's all."

"I know, I'm…I might of over-reacted."

"I'll comm Luke, he should be able to get here in a day or two." He bent his arm behind his head and sighed, "Plenty enough time for you to change your mind."

She looked at him.

"I mean about the big shindig. Not about marrying me," he clarified. "No woman in the galaxy would be crazy enough to let me slip through her fingers."

She shifted her body closer to him. "Is that right?"

"Yeah." He took his arm from behind his head and began to trail his fingers up her arm. "Especially when she's been privy to what _these_ fingers can do."

Rolling over to her back, Han followed her. She smiled at him and replied, "I can't exactly argue that…"


	6. Chapter 6  Confessions

The Path Forward

Chapter Six: Confessions

The couple sent word to Luke and then left Kashyyyk for the final stop on their New Republic business trip, with plans to meet up with the Jedi when they returned in three days.

Following their business meeting, Han and Leia sat down to dinner in the lounge of the _Falcon_ while the ship carried them at lightspeed back towards Kashyyyk and to this next step in their relationship.

These days following their engagement had left the two of them in a constant state of euphoria and Han had felt no need or inkling to break that mood by talking about any of the issues that had risen between them since their trip to Yavin. Honestly, Leia had seemed very happy during these most recent meetings and Han had some hope that things were righting themselves on their own.

But with their impending nuptials bearing down on him and his words when he had proposed, about their future and how he envisioned their future together, swirling through his mind, Han felt compelled to say something. If not about her happiness, then at least about his own. Maybe his confession would draw one from her in return.

"There's something I think we should talk about, before we get married," Han started.

Leia, sitting next to him on the banquette, set her fork down and giving him her full attention, replied, "Alright."

"I've been a lot of things in my life, Leia. And just because you're good at something doesn't really mean that you enjoy it. I mean, I was a damn good smuggler, but it wasn't something I enjoyed doing. It wasn't something I had set out to do."

As if sensing his trepidation, Leia placed her hand over his and gave it a squeeze as she said, "Just tell me what you're trying to say, Han."

"I'm no politician."

"I know. That's one of the things I love most about you."

"Well, good, because I can't see myself as a commissioner for the rest of my life."

"I thought you liked your job."

"I do, or I did. I liked setting things up, helping make the rules and policies fair. But, as more and more things get squared away, more and more of my job's becoming political and not…"

"Not what you want you wanted it to be."

"Yeah," Han replied as he watched Leia smiling at him. He felt like he had been carrying a Wookiee around on his shoulders as the weight slowly lifted off of him.

Leia took her hand and placed it on his thigh as she leaned towards him. "That's fine, honey. I know you'll excel at whatever it is you want to do."

"That's just it," Han replied as he covered her hand with his once again. "I'm not sure what the hell I want to do."

"As long as you love me, that's all that matters." Squeezing her hand on his thigh, Leia leaned up to him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Well, there's no chance of that changing." Han took advantage of her nearness and wrapped his arm around her, keeping her close.

"Good, then we can figure out the rest as we go along," she sighed as she rested her head against his chest. After a long moment of silence between them, Leia stirred a little in his arms and said, "And…I guess while we're clearing the air…"

Han looked down at the top of her head resting up against him and wondered if she would finally talk about her future with the New Republic. Not wanting to interrupt her thoughts, he replied simply, "Uh-hum?"

"There is something I've wanted to talk to you about."

"I'm listening."

"I've been thinking about this. It's never really been an issue, but now that we'll be married…"

Leia moved to pull away from him and Han lifted his arm to allow her. Somehow her train of thought seemed to be taking a different direction than he had anticipated. He watched her as she looked down at her hands in her lap and finally, taking his finger and tucking her hair behind her ear so that he could see her profile, he pressed her and said, "What is it, sweetheart?"

"I…" she looked at him and Han knew for sure that she wasn't about to talk to him about her Ambassadorship. Her eyes had become glassy and he recognized the telltale signs of her struggling to find the right words; something that did not happen often, but always looked the same when it did. She met his eyes and the words came out quickly as she said, "I don't know if I'll ever want to have children."

Han took a deep breath, all the while watching her. Her expression mirrored his feeling from earlier; that of a giant weight being lifted of her shoulders. Han had trouble placing just where the painful twist in his heart was coming from. Was it from the helplessness that he continually felt in trying to help her cope with all of this, or was it from his own disappointment at her words?

Children weren't something that he had ever thought of, unless it was to prevent them from inadvertently entering his life - that is, until he met her. He wanted to have children with her, badly. He dreamed of having a family with her, a family like he never got to have. Although he worried about what kind of father he would make, he knew he would try his damnedest and he knew in his heart that Leia would be a wonderful mother. How could the woman who carried the burden and worry of an entire galaxy on her shoulders, not be an amazing mother to one tiny person?

Realizing that Leia was still waiting for him to respond, Han took another deep breath and replied, "I can't say that I didn't have my suspicions on that." He watched as she bit her lip and eyed him curiously. Taking her hand in his, he gave it a squeeze and explained, "Just some things you've said, you know, when you're talking about…_him_."

"Is that something you really want? I mean...to have children?"

"I won't lie to you, sweetheart. Yes, I've thought about it…with you, just recently, you know…"

"Is it something that you can live without?"

He squeezed her hand again and turned his body towards her on the banquette. "I'm marrying you because I love _you_ and want to be with _you_. I'll support your decision on this, whatever it is. But I think _time _will help you see things differently."

Her eyes immediately fell away from his and she took her hand away. He watched her as she kept her eyes glued to some invisible spot on the holochess table and clasped her hands together tightly. Quickly turning to him she shook her head and responded, "That's just it. I'm pretty certain about this. I don't think I'll ever want to. My question is can you live with _that_? Not can you wait until I change my mind."

Her words this time intensified the painful twisting inside of his chest and he felt his own eyes beginning to moisten. For all the progress that he thought they had made together, this conversation had him reeling back in time to that moment that she had confessed everything to him about her past and her heritage as they hovered over the remains of Alderaan.

He knew he could never tell her this, but just as he had done that day, he tucked a little bit of hope away in the back of his mind. Hope that the outcome of this decision would somehow, someday turn out differently than she envisioned it right at this very moment. Another painful realization shot through him as he recognized the same faint hope mirrored in her eyes, just as he had seen it that day over Alderaan. Back then, he had known beyond a shadow doubt that she did not want him to leave her, that she desperately wanted him to return to her and now today, he knew that deep down she wanted a family with him but could not allow herself to consider it for all the ramifications that she had mentally attached to it.

As tears began to streak down her cheeks, Han reached out and swiped them away as he assured her, his voice soft and low, "I can live with that, sweetheart." And then pulling her to him, he let her silently cry against his chest as he rubbed his hand up and down her back and repeated, if not only for her, but also for himself, "I can live with that."


	7. Chapter 7  Words and Flimsis

A/N: I'd like to thank my beta reader, Zyra M, for all of her help on this story and on all of my stories. A million thanks!

And this chapter should live up to the "M" rating, so you've been warned.

* * *

The Path Forward

Chapter Seven: Words and Flimsis

Arriving back on Kashyyyk, the couple was greeted by Chewie, Malla, Luke, Threepio and Artoo. After some good-natured complaining on Luke's choice of guests for the event, the group headed for Chewie's house to eat dinner together.

During dinner, Han's aggravation over Threepio's presence was overshadowed by Leia's announcement that the two of them would sleep separately on this night before their nuptials and that they would not see each other the entire next day until the actual ceremony was held in the early evening. Not really caring what her reasons were, but pouting like a small child, Han heard something about _anticipation_ and dresses, makeup and hairdo's.

When his eyes gazed upon her for the first time, some twenty hours later, he may not have known anything more about dresses, or hair and makeup than he had the night before, but he certainly understood the _anticipation_ part. She walked towards him slowly and Han had the insane feeling that she just might vanish before she reached him. As she turned to stand next to him, he grabbed her hand just to make sure she was real.

The ceremony was a blur of tears, laughter and a couple of all-important 'I do's'. Afterwards they danced and ate and visited among their small group of friends. Leia had been right. A once-in-a-lifetime event is not defined by where you are or how many people are there to witness it, but who those people are and what they mean to you. Han had everyone that was anyone to him in the entire galaxy for this once-in-a-lifetime event there with him and he couldn't have dreamed it up to have happened much better than this.

How often did reality surpass your dreams, Han wondered as he held Leia in his arms around that dance floor one last time. As the night wound down, the couple said their goodbyes and walked hand-in-hand toward the small, secluded hut where Han had proposed just days before.

Stepping into the hut as a married couple, Han felt strangely different, as if he had reinvented himself in the last few days. If this is what having a permanent, happy life and future spread out before him felt like, then he truly had been missing something all those years. As they entered the room, he inhaled deeply and said, "Somehow this place feels different."

He watched Leia walk towards the balcony and heard her say, "Yes, somehow I feel totally different."

Realizing that he had placed the 'different' feeling on the room and not himself, even though that is what he had meant and that Leia had said what he couldn't, he asked, "In a good way?"

Leia turned around and rested her elbows against the railing behind her. Han smiled at the sight of her in her dress, the ring he had designed especially for her, sparkling on her finger. "Yes, of course. I just didn't expect it to be so…immediate," she clarified. And then turning her back to him, she looked out towards the waterfall in the distance and said, "It was only a few words and a couple of flimsis. I didn't think I would feel like an entirely different person than I was yesterday."

Han looked down at his own hand and the ring upon his finger, her words causing his stomach to turn uneasily. He stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Resting his head on her shoulder, he gave her a squeeze and whispered into her ear, "It was more than just words and flimsis."

She spun around in his arms and looked at him. "I know." She placed her hands on his chest and looked down at her fingers. Shaking her head, she said, "I don't know. That came out wrong."

He took his finger and lifted her chin. "You're not having second thoughts?"

Shaking her head, she croaked out, "No." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Absolutely, positively not. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"Hey." He bent down and kissed her on the nose. "That was my line."

"Yeah, well, I've let you believe that all these years, but it's really me who's the lucky one."

"I think we'll have to concede to a draw on that one, Princess."

"I like when you call me princess," she confessed, after all the years of bristling at his nicknames.

"I always suspected as much." He lowered his lips and began to trail tiny kisses along her neck.

A long, breathy moan escaped through her throat and she pressed herself against him. "And sweetheart…especially."

He lifted his head up and their eyes met. "Are you trying to reveal all your deep, dark secrets to me, Your Highness?"

"Now that one," she said with a smile as she shook her head at him, "I'm not too fond of." He watched her smile widen and he responded with a crooked grin. She swallowed and her smile immediately disappeared, her expression turning serious. "And no, unfortunately, you already know all of my deep, dark secrets and yet you still stood up there and married me today."

He watched the tears well up in her eyes. Han wondered how two people could both feel with every fiber of their being that one did not deserve the other. He only knew that he planned to spend the rest of his life proving to the galaxy that he deserved this woman standing here in front of him.

He made a point to keep his crooked grin in place as he gave her a squeeze and said, "Hey, now, none of that. It's our wedding night."

"You know I don't do well with change." She blinked and Han watched a tear fall down her cheek.

"What change? Nothing's going to change. We're just official now, that's all, _Mrs. Solo_."

The smile returned to her lips and she studied him for a moment. "I was wondering if you would mind if I kept the Organa name."

Han felt his mouth fall open slightly, but he hadn't found the words he wanted to say yet so the silence hung there between them. Truly this request did not bother him and in actuality he felt it may be a positive step for her in light of her recent struggles with the memory of Bail Organa. He took a deep breath and finally said, "If that's what you want."

"I mean, I would take your name, too…of course."

Smiling at her, he replied, "Of course."

"I certainly want every woman in the galaxy to know that your _name_ is the only thing about you that is still _single_."

His grin turned wicked and she rewarded him with her best rendition. He lowered his face to hers and confirmed, "So, Ambassador Leia Organa Solo?"

"Yes." She dropped her hands from around his neck and wrapped them around his torso instead. Han noticed her tears were drying up. Tightening her arms around him, she asked, "That sounds right, don't you think?"

"Naw, doesn't sound right." Lowering his lips down to her neck again, he breathed out, "It sounds perfect."

The crashing of the waterfall pounded in his ears and all his focus landed on just one thing. _Anticipation_ had finally gotten the best of him as his fingers explored the back of her dress, unlocking the tiny fasteners that held it together. The delicate straps resting on her shoulders fell down to the crooks of her arms and before they went any further, Han lifted her up and carried her towards the bed.

"I've never made love to a married woman," he confessed in her ear.

"That's certainly a relief," she deadpanned in return.

He lowered her to the ground so that she stood before him. His hands were gently grasping her at the shoulders and he felt her trembling.

"Are you alright?" His hands gave her a squeeze and his crooked grin faded.

"I'm just..."

He shrugged his jacket off, her arms fell down to her sides and he began to undo his shirt buttons. "Wedding night jitters?" He asked as his shirt hit the floor and he stepped out of his shoes. His belt buckle clicked open and she nodded her head with a smile. There might be something to this anticipation stuff, he conceded. "Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll be gentle."

He pulled his belt off with a 'zing' as it unwound from around his waist. The action and the noise seemed to jolt her back to reality.

She stepped out of her shoes and smiled as she said, "I thought gentle was for before the wedding."

He cocked his head to the side and slipped his pants and boxers down to his ankles. She leaned into him, her hand slipping in between them.

His forehead dropped on her shoulder for a moment while a long, guttural groan escaped his lungs. "Gods, Leia you are going to kill me one of these days."

He lifted his head and stared at her, her arm moving slowly in between them. His eyes and his hands went to her head as he began to remove the myriad of clips holding her hair in its elaborate 'do. Her mouth began to explore his chest and his neck.

As her tresses began to fall, Han noticed that they just barely reached down to her mid-back. He grabbed her busy hand and stilled it as he whispered, "Your hair."

Her lips moved across his neck and she licked his earlobe. Her breath was hot against his ear. "Do you like it?"

He watched her dress slide down her body and his hands cupped her breasts. "Yes."

"It's traditional to leave the hair uncut until the wedding day." She pulled her face away to look at him as she added, "I was beginning to think mine would reach the floor before then…"

"What? I-"

Her wicked grin reappeared, effectively cutting off his argument on how long ago he would've married her if able to. He shook his head at her cruel teasing. "You are a wicked, wicked woman."

"I keep trying to tell you that." Grabbing him by the shoulders she spun them both around and pushed him down onto the bed.

Propping himself up on his elbows, he watched as her hands slid her panties off her hips. Waggling his eyebrows, he took in the sight of her standing there naked in front of him and agreed, "Um. That you do." While he gave her a devilish grin and a wink, he added, "How 'bout you try showing me instead?"

He watched her as she looked at him for a moment as if deciding on her next move. He had felt different just moments before and now she looked different to him. She was his now and it put an entirely new spin on his desire to possess her. Any concern that he had ever had regarding marriage turning down the heat on their want for each other or casting a dullness onto their love life seemed very much unfounded to the naked Corellian at this very moment.

She placed her knee between his legs on the bed and then lowered herself to him. As she trailed tiny kisses up his inner thigh, Han contemplated the advantages of anticipation one last time as he fell back on the bed and slammed his eyes shut following the warm sensation of her mouth surrounding him. Talk about reality surpassing your dreams.

His hands fumbled down into her hair as he moaned, "Holy hells, Leia."

Lingering for what seemed like an eternity longer. She finally released him and began to plant tiny kisses up his stomach and across his chest. His hands slowly working themselves along the curves of her body as they came into his reach.

"What were you saying about me killing you one of these days?" she whispered into his ear as he felt her tongue flick along his earlobe and a shiver run down his spine.

"I thought you had wedding night jitters," he teased as he watched her pull her face from his and look at him. Smiling at her, he said, "Just what did they put in that cake?"

His eyes fell to her breasts as she lifted herself further up and let him explore her body freely, his hands roaming over her soft, warm skin.

"Wouldn't you like to know," she replied and he watched her giggle, as if she was pleased with her own wantonness for him this evening. And as she lowered her face back down to his, he saw a wild look in her eyes that nearly frightened him.

It wasn't as if he and Leia hadn't done just about everything possible in the bedroom by now, but something about it being their wedding night had set even the seemingly mundane on fire. Like the fact that her hair no longer covered much of anything when it draped over her shoulders. And the way their rings sparkled in the moonlight that was pouring through the windows. Or the way her soft, white skin contrasted against his tanned body.

"You know you were wearing white out there today," Han reminded her as he watched Leia position herself over him and lower herself down.

His mouth fell open and he sucked in a deep, long breath as she took him inside of her. "_Were_ being the operative word there, Captain."

Han couldn't stop the wide, crooked grin that crept across his face as he shook his head at her. "Just how much wine did you have at the reception?"

"Would you quit worrying about my diet," she breathed out as she rocked herself back and forth on top of him.

Just what she was having for dessert, if it ever was a question, was now quite clear to him. Han placed his hands behind his head and felt content to watch her like this for the rest of his life. Her constant shifting from sitting straight up to leaning in towards him, from kissing him on his mouth to trailing her tongue and tiny kisses along his chest and arms and any other piece of skin she could find, nearly making him dizzy. But he was Corellian after all, and he managed to keep up with her, if not keep count for her.

A serious expression clouded over her face and she sat up straight and slowed her pace. The sheen of perspiration that painted her body made her skin glisten in the fading moonlight. Han watched her lick her lips, her eyes danced with delight and then he watched a wide grin crawl across her face as she said, "Can you believe we're married?"

For some reason those words acted like a catalyst for him and he could no longer sit back and leave her in total control. His face grew serious and he grabbed her arms as he said, "From the day I met you, I never had a doubt."

Leia threw her head back and laughed at him and he couldn't help but join her as he spun her around on her back and landed on top of her. She offered no resistance.

"Find something funny, Princess?" he asked as he laced his fingers over hers, pinning her arms by her head as he began to move his hips on top of her, creating his own teasing pace.

"Nothing funny about that," she replied breathlessly and he lowered himself to her and kissed her deeply.

The frivolity disappeared as Han released her hands and quickened his pace. She began to study his body with her fingertips, trailing them over him frantically as her mouth had done earlier. He felt her fingernails dig into his back and her legs clamp around him. He was certain he had set some kind of record tonight. The pull of his own release grew larger inside of him and his resistance gave way to exhaustion.

Calling out her name he finally succumbed to it and collapsed on top of her, feeling as if every ounce of energy had been drawn out of him, his arms too weak to lift himself off of her right away.

Finally rolling over to his back, she nuzzled up into the crook of his arm and breathed out, "Who's gonna kill who one of these days?"

"You," he breathed out heavily and then added, "You are going to kill me one of these days."

He felt her fingers walk across his chest and then her arm plop down around him, as she said, "What a way to go, though, huh?"

Shaking his head he looked down at her and she tilted her head up to see him. They smiled at each other. This was definitely the way to go.

"I love you," she whispered as she stretched up to him for a kiss.

"I know."

As they nestled together in the large bed, he wondered what he had done so right in the universe that had made him be lucky enough to have this incredible woman in his arms, telling him she loved him and showing him in more ways than one. He whispered the words back to her and felt her arms squeeze around him in response as she rested her head on his chest.

As his eyelids became heavy he thought once again about dreams and reality. If, as he had been told, dreams were merely wishes for the future, he felt for sure that he might never dream again.


End file.
